No soup for you? Think again!

Earlier today, Old Taskmaster paid another visit to a quaint little café just down the road.

Sure, their customer service resembles a soup kitchen on Seinfeld and the steaks are solid enough to be classified as lethal weapons under the Crimes Act. And sure, the shopfront itself might soon be described on Property Observer as a “renovator’s delight”.

However, the fact their location is just downstairs from Old Taskmaster’s nemesis, Snoqualmire’s Widgets, helps their case a little.

Well, with no greeting, Taskmaster and a colleague sit down in this little coffee shop. Soon 10 minutes go by. That soon turns into 20, then 30. In that time, there are more confirmed sightings of life from the Mars Rover than there are behind the counter.

Suddenly out of the kitchen, like a tormented brahma bull through an unlocked gate, charges the waiter. “What do you want?!” he screams, as if he is auditioning to be the lead singer of a death metal band.

“I’ll have a flat white please, with…” The menu is snatched from my hands before I have a chance to finish the statement. This is followed about 10 minutes later by an angry shriek from the kitchen. “Was that regular, skinny or soy?!” exclaims the angry waiter.

It wasn’t just my table. Some regulars from Snoqualmire’s complain that their food is taking too long to come out, then that the chicken smells funny and for some reason a vegetarian has ended up getting a meat platter they almost certainly didn’t order.

When it came time to pay for the lukewarm bean flavoured dishwater that purported to be a coffee, Taskmaster notices the angry waiter is doing double duty as a bad barista and a crazy cook.

“Hey look, none of my staff turned up today, so I had to do it myself! Not my fault your coffee was cold!” squirms the waiter, who looked a little like Manuel from Faulty Towers, in response to Taskmaster’s Julie Bishop-like death stare.

The chaos going on behind the scenes of your business doesn’t matter. Your customers don’t care that your magnetic personality, turned the wrong way, has repelled all your staff. They do care, however, if you don’t give them prompt and friendly service, no matter what the circumstances.

Make sure you, your customer service reps and your sales staff always greet your customers with a smile, regardless of the chaos that may be going on behind the curtain.

Get it done – today!