Stating the obvious: Try a little kindness towards those helping you

In an episode of Ted Lasso, when Rupert makes a disparaging comment about Rebecca, Ted turns to him and says, “Hey, better manners when I’m holding a dart, please.”

Perhaps people on the frontlines of service need their own projectiles. Indeed, something needs to shift amid news over the past few days about increasing instances of customers abusing staff.

Vet clinics afraid to open at night, customer service people in tears after calls, and Woolworths staff enduring abuse about a management decision to not stock ‘Australia Day’ merchandise are some reported examples.

A few years ago, I wrote about how even perceived slights can open the gates to outrage, and it seems not much has changed.

People projecting disquiet with what’s happening in the world play a part. There’s bad news everywhere. A low level of dread overflows all over the nearest worker in the form of ‘It’s your fault I can’t have a paper plate with an Australian flag on it.’

Add how social media has eroded civility and toss in a liberal dash of ‘I want. Therefore I should have’, and you get a few people taking out their huff on others. And while it is only a few, any frontline worker can tell you, it happens a lot more frequently than you imagine. 

In 2019, I said, “As customers, we are part of the trade, and it’s past time we stepped up and accepted responsibility for our role. We accept terms and conditions (usually without reading them). We ignore how busy someone is. We think we’re more important just because we have the money, forgetting the effort and investment in getting whatever we’re buying into our hands.”

All that is still true. And I’ll add, try a little kindness towards those helping you.

In an interview with the Sunrise Morning Show, Woolworths CEO Bradford Banducci said, “The clear message is: treat our team with the respect they deserve”.

It was a sentiment echoed in a Canberra Vet Clinic’s Facebook post, “Even though times are changing, some things remain the same — we are only humans and deserve respect”.

You might read those quotes and think, ‘Of course, I’m always respectful to others’. And whether that’s true or not, sometimes, we’ve all done something along the sliding scale of outrage that will have felt disrespectful to the person on the receiving end.

And while respect is a decent baseline, I want to make the case that we should go further. None of us knows what’s happening in each other’s lives, so maybe check your cranky inner toddler and try a little kindness. If nothing else, you’ll get to feel magnanimous. 

But don’t take my word for it. 

In their Kindness Matters Guide, the UK Mental Health Foundation highlights, “Those of us who are kind and compassionate experience clear benefits to our wellbeing and happiness. We may even live longer. Kindness also helps reduce stress and improve our emotional wellbeing”.

If you still need more reasons, try thinking beyond your right to be upset because there’s also a ripple effect where those inflicting the harm are essentially working against their interests. 

Kindness is a kind of generative currency that, when employed, increases in value and supports the everyday fabric of our society. 

For example, when I feel my efforts are valued, I’m more likely to stay in my job, keep helping others and carry kindness with me when I go home. 

Suppose an enterprise doesn’t have to expend time, money and effort replacing workers because it’s too hard to feel this lousy every day. They can use that capital on extra stock, build more spacious stores, or do any number of things that benefit you.  

What does kindness look like? Well, a good start is not to berate the customer service person trying to help you with your sick pet. Perhaps give the benefit of the doubt to the frontline worker who is a bit busy and otherwise distracted because their child is unwell. Or here’s an idea: don’t make a social media post with a tirade about how the business wronged you for others to pile on.

Showing some kindness is better for you, me and others. Not to mention, it does your bit to replenish the coffers of common courtesy. 

Michel Hogan is an independent brand counsel.