Can I avoid going to my employee’s lavish wedding?

Dear Aunty B,

I have just been invited to one of my employee’s wedding and I have no idea what to do.

She is a lovely girl whom I took a punt on when we hired her and she has done really well, so I think she sees me as a bit of a mentor, as well as a boss.

She is marrying a wealthy businessman and it is a two-day affair (they are Jewish). The idea of spending a weekend with 500 of their closest friends whom I have never met fills me with dread.

How can I say no when the invite is three months ahead and she already made me look in my diary before announcing that she is getting married in three months and I am invited?

Please don’t tell me to go as I am exhausted on weekends and I like to see family, exercise, garden and think about things.

Help me please Aunty B!

Leon Z

Sydney

Dear Leon,

Me? Tell you to go? I would rather stick pins in my eyes. Listen up. You are not going. Okay? Feel better?

Now, think of this. The last thing your lovely employee wants is for her boss to be at her wedding. She hasn’t thought it through. There you are, exhausted, grumpy, drinking too much in the corner and there she is, trying to have a fabulous time and worrying about the fact that tipsy Aunty Esther is heading your way.

So here is what you are going to do. You are going to lie. Try this one: You just remembered a nephew or niece is turning 18 and you are their favourite uncle and have to be at the party. Or this: Your wife has a conference interstate and you are planning to meet her there on, yes, that weekend! Or this: Your sister is turning 50 and you are all planning a trip back to your old holiday house.

It doesn’t matter what you say. This will prevent her spending the next 90 days trying to figure out where to sit you. So be inventive, be specific and remember to write it in your diary so when she turns up to work after getting married you don’t tell her about the new petunias you planted.

Be smart,

Your Aunty B

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