The fine line of bullying: Four things you need to know

It is easy to point out extreme examples of bullying. Systematic efforts to tease, hurt and injure co-workers make headlines and we all shake our heads in disbelief wondering how it could happen.

The problem is that most bullying happens on a much more subtle level. This doesn’t mean the hurt, stress and suffering is any less, it just means that it is harder to act upon. This is clearly an awkward situation for a victim to be in. Here are the four things you really need to know about workplace bullying.

1. Boundaries are shifted slowly

Bullying involves a repeated act by an individual or group of people that causes feelings of intimidation or emotional distress to another individual. This can often start out as a bit of a joke, and many good-humoured people will accept a joke at their expense if it’s delivered well and in good taste. If it continues beyond the point where the person on the receiving end is good humoured about it you start to move into the area of bullying.

This is also true of intimidator-type behaviour. Whether we are talking about a boss or just the larger personalities in the office, it is very rare that someone actually sets out to be an intimidator. Over time an imbalance of personal power (often due to a loss of confidence on the receiver’s side) can be pushed to the point of abuse. The slow shifting of boundaries means that the victim can often be unaware of just how much pressure they are feeling – it’s not until it’s too late that action is taken.

Bullies by nature will constantly push against the boundaries to exert their influence. This will rarely go away by itself – strong management will ensure that there is push back and recourse against the acts of a bully.

2. Venting is not bullying

Saying aggressive things in a moment of emotional overflow isn’t bullying. It obviously isn’t a desirable way to act but it certainly isn’t bullying. If you believe that you have gone too far with a particular comment, or perhaps you’ve embarrassed someone that you work with, the most important thing to do is offer a sincere and prompt apology. This is an acknowledgment that a boundary has been inadvertently crossed. Mistakes occur, especially in a high-pressure environment, but everyone needs to actively take responsibility of an inter-personal blunder when it happens.

The point to remember about bullying is that it is persistent. It may not be intentionally hurtful, but if boundaries are crossed repeatedly without apology it’s extremely serious.

3. Sometimes people over-react

We all hate to hear about people suffering in the workplace but there is an awkward area of workplace discontent where someone is feeling hurt unreasonably. Some definitions of bullying centre entirely around the feelings of the victim, that if someone is feeling intimated, hurt or harassed then they are definitely being bullied. This isn’t always the case! Someone might misread a message – actions can be read as threats and tone of voice read as aggressive when it is neither intended that way nor seen as that from others.
This can be a very difficult situation to manage, but it must be considered a possibility when investigating claims of bullying.

And best strategies are always to have an open communication style of management and team meetings so the communication, intentional or unintentional, does not go unchecked.

4. You need a plan in place for bullying

It’s very easy to say that your organisation won’t accept bullying. It’s easy to say that you’re not allowed to send threatening emails, swear at co-workers, act in a sexist or racist manner or systematically intimidate someone – but the grey areas are incredibly difficult to navigate. These questions will help you and your HR department prepare for any cases of bullying:

• How do you deal with a he says/she says scenario?
• What do you define as bullying within your workplace?
• If you find someone has been bullied, what do you do? What happens to the bully?

The big issue is what will you do to prevent bullying, rather than simply deal with it when it happens?

Act today…

As long as you have employees there will be the potential for bullying to occur. Your company needs to act on it now, whether it involves highlighting and eliminating bullying that is taking place right now, drawing up plans and procedures in the future even of bullying, educating your staff on how to identify and report on bullying, or communicating with your staff about the company’s bullying policy. Each of these acts is essential to the smooth running of your organisation. Your people are your most valuable asset, and it is a company’s responsibility to exercise a duty of care over its employees, and that includes ensuring that bullying does not take place.

Eve Ash has produced an excellent video – Bullying and Harassment ­– with case studies for discussion amongst staff to determine what constitutes bullying. Eve is CEO of Seven Dimensions a company that distributes an excellent Australian DUTY OF CARE series that spells out the issues.