Do I keep fighting or botox my lips?

Dear Aunty B,

I am really confused about the new gender debate. (It could be old but I live under a rock, so not sure.)

Anyway, my problem is I keep hitting a brick wall trying to break through to the senior ranks of my company. I have some mentors who tell me to be less assertive and outspoken and to be more myself. But why?

Where has acting like a woman ever got women in business? In my experience being outspoken, assertive, claiming personal credit like a man, pointing out calmly whenever I see that someone is discriminating has worked just fine to get me to this level. So why should I change now? Should I go all feminine, be true to myself, get myself some bee sting lips so I can just be mute and pout? Is that going to get me there? Or do I keep fighting?

Josie,
Parkville

Dear Josie,

Hang on. Let me get this straight. You think if you act more like a woman in business you can succeed like a man? In Australia? Are you nuts? And what has injecting poison into your face got to do with it?

Look, face facts. As a woman, you don’t fit into the top echelons of business in this country. You don’t talk like one of them, smell like one of them, act like one of them and they are never going to stand at the boardroom door and yell welcome as you sashay through the door.

But I agree with you on this. Why is it becoming more fashionable to say women don’t really care? That they should shout their differences from the cliff tops, take the gloves off and wander away to do something else? We then sit around and bore each other stiff talking about the lack of women in our boardrooms.

That’s exactly what the blokes want us to do and that ain’t going to change nothing.

You want to get to the top in your organisation? You do what works and play the game. It is not their game. It is the game of business. Sure, men devised all the rules to suit themselves but rules are easy to change. My advice is this. Stay assertive. You are clear about your goal so go hard at it. Work out how to get there really quickly. Now I would like to tell you that once you are there you can do what you like: paint the walls pink, bake, bring in male strippers and sip sherry from your top drawer all day if you want. But you can’t. You will always have to stay one step ahead because this stuff is still new and men are still reeling from the fact that they have to sit next to us in the boardroom instead of the brothel or the kitchen table. The best you can do is fight on and be determined to change it for those women coming after you.

Be smart,
Your Aunty B

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