I want to be the sole breadwinner. How do I tell my husband?

Dear Aunty B,

I wanted to pick your brains about men – in particular my husband.

I have a very busy, more than full-time job running my great business. We have three kids under seven. He is working three days a week and my business is doing very well. I would however like him to stop working altogether as our life is still totally chaotic. We don’t need his income (he is a landscape gardener) and quite frankly if he worked less I could work more and we would be far better off financially.

You seem pretty good with men Aunty B so I wondered what advice you have. How do I raise this tricky issue in such a way as he sees the benefit for the family?

Please don’t print my name

Dear Please don’t print your name,

Gee, you sound like a throwback from the 50s. How would you like to be told you should stop working because your contribution to the workforce, the community and the household income means zilch? I hope you show more tact with your staff and customers.

Look, I think all people need to work outside the home. It’s good for self-esteem. It can be paid or unpaid work. As for who does stuff, haven’t you heard of the personnel services industry? You organise a raft of people to come in and do a range of jobs. They are specialists and do things far quicker and faster than your husband could.

He gets to keep his skills up, he keeps his involvement in the working community and maintains a commitment to family finances. Yes, it is easier to go down the track of one parent at home and one working, but don’t forget most of us live until we are 80 at least. Kids grow up. Don’t assist your husband towards a future where his skills fall away just because it will make your life easier.

Be smart,
Your Aunty B

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