My employee takes massive offense to constructive criticism. Help!

Hi Aunty,

I have a two-part question about one employee…

I have an employee who is key to my business and a fabulous “technician” (ie. nose to the grindstone, working hard), but is in an important leadership role.

He is a terrible manager and trainer, but at the same time gets really territorial if staff from another section come in to try and help or train the new staff in his section.

I try hard to invoke a team attitude and most of the other staff are team players, but this guy takes it personally if anyone comes onto his “turf”.

How do I get him to understand that there is no “my section/your section” mentality? (There is no one else I could promote to be over him, we are too small.)

This same employee, also has a “poor me” attitude and gets attention through sympathy. He’s also extremely sensitive of constructive criticism.

I know you’ll say no one is indispensable (and of course you’re right), but this guy is doing a fabulous job and it would really be a massive pain to lose him at the moment.

I know he’s left several jobs over the years through taking “offence” from something the boss has said. How do I be more assertive with him and give him constructive criticism without him taking offence and quitting?

Thanks!
Miranda

Dear Miranda,

You have “one of them”! We have all met them in our workplace. They are brilliant at operations but they are poor communicators, they can’t see the bigger picture and are super sensitive.

The bad news is they can be very hard to change through conventional means, ie. a good talking to. Think acne-covered teenager with only half their brain working. That’s what you are dealing with here.

If you absolutely need to keep him then you are going to pull on every ounce of social intelligence and patience and do some nursing and nurturing.

First, you have to spend a fair bit of time with him so that he feels like you and he are on a similar level. Then you get him to understand he is the best in the world at what he does and you have a lot of respect for him. But everyone can’t be good at everything can they? So he needs some help and hey presto – you have the answer!

It’s all very hockey stick jolly mum stuff. The last thing you do is sit him down and ask him where he is on the Asperger’s Spectrum and offer him tips on how to improve his communication skills!

The problem for you is this is only a short-term strategy. Eventually he will exhaust you, you will lose it and tell him to go – as previous bosses have – so you must prepare for that.

Good luck,
Your Aunty B

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