There’s a bitch in the company. Help!

Dear Aunty B,

We are a young company but already have 50 staff. We have been “politics free” since we began. In fact, when new people start they often ask where are the politics because they can’t see any! Until now.

I recently hired a new marketing/PR manager and he is a bitch. These are the things he has done since he arrived:

He has bought iPhones for his staff, excused himself from the office meeting because he is “too busy”, and then calls three other meetings that different staff have to attend.
He is catty about a fellow worker and is spreading rumors about her performance, saying she was sacked from her last job when I know for a fact she was not. He also thinks he runs sales and keeps calling meetings with the sales department so I am constantly having to put out fires with the sales director who wants to kill him.

We have a bell that we ring when we get a new contract. We had a great day the other day after a bit of a dry patch and we were all feeling good until Cat’s Bum (he has a mouth like Kevin Rudd) stalked across and asked us not to ring the bell so much because the ringing was getting on his staff’s nerves!

Now, he has just told us he and his staff are attending a conference on the day of the Christmas party but not to worry because he will have his own!

He is very enthusiastic and I want to encourage this and make him feel he is running his own show. But on the other hand he needs to fit in more. What should I do?

Hot and Bothered,
Queensland

Dear Hot and Bothered,

You have hired a bitch and you must act quickly. Call him in and explain that there are no politics in the office. Tell him that gossiping and spreading rumors are out.

Explain that it is courteous of him to pop into the sales director’s office and suggest a meeting before sending out a summons. Tell him that staff meetings are a must and he is to keep all other meetings to a minimum unless he absolutely has to. And tell him that he can go to anther conference because he and staff are attending the Christmas Party.

Last of all, tell him you will ring the bell whenever you damn well want to! I suggest to emphasise the fact, you have the bell handy and you ring it as loud as possible, right by his precious ear. You will also explain that you are allergic to people in companies building silos and you certainly hope he is not doing that.

Good luck!
Your Aunty B

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