What’s the difference between telling and selling?

Telling is not selling, because the conversation only flows one way — from your lips into the other person’s ears and out the other.

Telling fails to provide your customer with an opportunity to buy-in to the conversation. Moreover, the salesperson hasn’t taken the time to acknowledge who the customer really is and what they need or really want, if anything at all. In essence, the salesperson is only communicating to the customer’s stated need, which is usually the tip of the iceberg.

You will never see who they really are until the customer trusts who you are.

In the early stages of your relationship customers don’t possess enough confidence in you to reveal too much about who they really are, so it’s up to you to help them. This is best achieved by engaging the customer in meaningful conversations and making what’s important to them important to you.

A ‘telling’ conversation is about you, not the customer. It’s about what you want — to sell something and get paid. The customer is the means to your end.

Have you ever been out for coffee with someone you just met and all they did was talk about themselves the entire time? How did this person make you feel? Were you excited to meet with them again? I bet you left the exchange feeling somewhat drained of energy and totally disinterested in this person. Salespeople, like acquaintances, are much the same.

Every customer has three simple words blazoned on their forehead: I AM IMPORTANT!

Selling should always be about first seeking to understand and then to be understood. It’s also the art of exploring and understanding what’s beneath the surface and really driving the customer’s needs or desires.

Understanding what’s most important to your customers is not as hard as you may first think. It’s simply a matter of asking them. But you must then try to hear and feel what they’re really saying. Ask questions and genuinely listen to your customer’s response, before hijacking the conversation and launching into your sales spiel. Pause before you respond and actually think about your response before pulling the cord and ripping into telling them what you think they need.

When you believe in yourself you don’t need to boast about how good or big you are. You don’t really have anything to prove — it’s there for all to see. So shut up and listen to your customers! Make them feel important. You will be amazed at what you will learn from them and where it will take both of you.

For more Selling Strategies advice, click here.

Trent Leyshan is the founder and CEO of BOOM Sales! a leading sales training and sales development specialist. He is also the creator of The NAKED Salesman, BOOMOLOGY! RetroService, and the Empathy Selling Process.